And I really have no reason to be grumpy.
We're all healthy, we have a roof over our heads, we have love, family, friends, and more amenities than we probably need. There has been no earthquake here, we have no fear of poison in our skies. I have a loving husband who treats me with respect, my kids are happy and healthy and hilarious.
But shocking and sad news from afar and from close by, about countries far away and friends close by who are suffering pains and losses - they are clouding my worldview right now.
To me, no one has adequately answered why bad things happen to good people. I just can't wrap my mind around it. It is so unfair, so painful, to know that senseless and sometimes random acts of hatred, of violence, of loss happen over and over, day after day.
I can't reconcile some of the injustices in the world. I can't comprehend how my gay friends can't marry, but that I could. Watching the news is dismal - local, national, international - you name it, it is probably depressing. I don't understand why teachers are under attack, but elected officials from all parties manage to screw over their constituents on most issues. Laws meant to protect abused women and children seem to be a joke, and really offer no help to those in need. And how could anyone could truly think that health care for all is a bad idea? I don't get how celebrities and sports figures are revered, and people who work for non-profits barely make a living. These are just a few of the examples swirling in my head.
And what is worse than all of this gloom? The fact that in the midst of all of this sadness and pain, I can still manage to find things in my life to complain about - traffic making me late, waiting too long at a doctor's office, being the one who always makes the lunches, not having a million dollars in the bank and doing whatever I want, whenever I want...
So that is really why I am grumpy - the guilt and realization that I'm human - I'm petty sometimes. Too self-centered sometimes. Not grateful enough most of the time.
Time to step back and 'see the forest for the trees'...