It can be hard to be the daughter of a perfectionist.
It is harder to have a daughter and to try to NOT pass on the stress and guilt of being a perfectionist yourself.
One of the gifts of motherhood, for me at least, has been a letting go of certain expectations and standards (all self-imposed) that can literally keep me up at night. I still could stand to be a little more relaxed and laid-back in general, but even my husband has to admit that I am not as emotionally invested as checking EVERYTHING off the to-do list in one hour flat.
I've learned that I have to stop with the pages and pages long to-do lists, hold off on things I feel should be done to spend that time doing things that need to be done (like playing dress-ups and building Duplo sand castles). I'm hoping that this relaxing of the need to always be in control, to always be accomplishing a task, will show my kids that while it is important to achieve things, it is not essential to drive yourself crazy just to say you checked everything off the list.
But while I try to spend my energy and thought in areas that are more fulfilling to my entire family, not just my OCD nature, it is hard to break old habits.
I was raised to overachieve. I learned early on that the gold stars of tackling a task or a list of things to-do was valuable, important, essential to life. That you could always be doing. It can be an exhausting way to live.
So, I am trying to find a balance between my upbringing and my internal drive and real life for me and my family. It can be tough to resist the urge to go, go, go.
But for me, it is never tough to blow off the chore of ironing the sheets -- that one is a no-brainer for this girl.
No comments:
Post a Comment